Life After Love
by peebo
Summary: The gang has finally defeated Naraku, but they've payed the ultimate price! How will Inuyasha handle it? Is there life after love? please r&r! inukag sanmir


               Okay, this is my first fanfic, so please review.  Any constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated and any suggestions will be taken into consideration. 

Disclaimer:   Rumiko Takashi owns Inuyasha, not me, I don't own squat, just like everybody else dammit. I also don't own the songs used in this fic. I use yellow card's my only one because they rock out loud.

               Inuyasha howled in despair.  It had been such a bittersweet moment, but now all he could feel was a hollow longing.  It was like a hole in the pit of his stomach.

-------------------------------------------Flashback------------------------------------------------

               "Kagome?..." he chided gently raising her head ever so slightly, just enough to rest her head in his lap.  "Kagome! Come back! Your lord commands it!" he sobbed into her chest.  Even with all his effort, it was useless. Kagome was dead.  He was completely and utterly alone.  He broke his stare away from his love long enough to survey the bloody battlefield.  Sango was there also, eyes wide in disbelief.  She has nothing left either.  Everything she had held dear lad been ripped from her. Miroku, in trying to save her had too many hell-wasps into his wind tunnel.  Even with Kagome's antidote, the venom had been too much for his body.  She had also seen Kohaku's body reunited with his soul, but only long enough to say "goodbye" and "I love you." then to die along side Naraku. 

               Naraku, that was absolutely the only positive in this overwhelmingly hopeless situation.  Naraku was dead.

               It had taken all of their efforts combined to kill him, but ultimately it had been Kagome's sacrifice that had done it. Kagome's purifying arrow-it had struck true and hit Naraku's heart.  Only then were Miroku, Sango, and Inuyasha able to finish him off, but Naraku refused to go down alone.  He looked for the most damage he could do and found it. Kagome.  He used his last efforts to strike Kagome with his tentacle, killing her almost instantly, before he himself kicked the bucket.

               Inuyasha hadn't been able to realize Naraku's plan until it was too late.  He couldn't get to her fast enough and now she would never smile again.

-----------------------------------------End Flashback------------------------------------------------------

               Sango and Inuyasha had proceeded to bury the bodies of the dead.  It was especially hard for Sango to lay Miroku to rest.  She kept expecting to open his eyes and grab her ass like he used to when he feigned sleep.  It took both Sango and Inuyasha's combined strength to bury old Kaede.  She had given in to old age after finally seeing her sister Kikyo laid to rest.

               When it was done, Sango and Inuyasha said they're good byes and parted ways.  Each vowing to find some way to return to normalcy.

               Inuyasha just could not find it in his soul to bury Kagome.  He kept her body, clinging to it as if he had nothing left in the whole world. To be truthful, it was all he had left.  He simply couldn't bear this pain anymore.  A few days before that fateful battle, he had told her what she meant to him.  He had never thought he would be in this situation. He thought he would always be able to protect her form any harm.  Truth be told, if anything, he thought Naraku would have killed him.

               It was then he realized how much Naraku truly hated him.  Killing Inuyasha would have been all too convenient, too good for him.  He had done the worst possible thing he could. He had killed Kagome, Inuyasha's true love, his mate.

------------------------------------------Flash back----------------------------------------------------------

               when Inuyasha had confessed his love to Kagome, he had been mildly surprised at her reaction.  He had expected a surge of love and understanding to come back at him instantly, from Kagome.  Instead, she looked almost sad and lonely.  "Are you sure?" she asked in a low voice.

               "Of course I'm sure, wench! Why in seven hells wouldn't I be?!!!"  Had been his response.

He was instantly sorry, seeing the hurt in Kagome's expressive eyes.

               "Because of  Kikyo," she whispered staring uncomfortably at her knees.

               He felt the sudden urge to go and put his arm around her tiny body, to comfort her and protect her, but he felt he should explain this to Kagome once and for all.  "I once loved Kikyo, but only because she was the only person to ever treat me like a person. She died because of me and there's no words to express the guilt I felt knowing I caused all that. In spite of that, Kagome the love we used to share is long gone and was nothing compared to the love I feel for you.  She lost her chance a long time ago, when I met you. Can you understand that?"

               With her feelings and her faith in Inuyasha completely restored, she launched herself into his arms.  They shared a passionate kiss and a night of beautiful love. 

------------------------------------------End Flashback----------------------------------------------------

               He could remember how he felt that morning when he woke up snuggled next to Kagome.  Sheer bliss.  Now he openly wept at the base of the goshinboku tree. He cried for his friends who had gone, mostly for Kagome, and also for the world which he knew would fall a million times below what it was without Kagome in it.

                                             _Here I go _

                                             _scream my lung out and try to get to you_

_                                             You are my only one_

_                                             Don't let go_

_                                             You are my only-my only one_

               " Why did she have to die?!!!" he screamed, beating his fists against the tree. 

               She had always been important to him, but once he had admitted to her how much he truly cared, she was a hundred times more precious to him.  He would have rather died before he saw her in any harm at all.  He blamed himself for leaving her unguarded when Naraku had gotten to her.  He was willing to go to any lengths to keep her safe, and now she was gone. She was gone forever........NO!  He refused to accept it. He refused to live a life without his precious Kagome.  He would find a way to bring her back.  Anything, he would do anything- go to the ends of the Earth if he could see her smile one more time.  He would give anything to be able to hold her and loose himself in the deep pools of her eyes.  He collapsed against the tree from pure exhaustion. 

               He dreamed of Kagome, her purity, and her self-less beautiful spirit.  He felt happy again able to see her-alive and joyous. He would have stayed that way forever- just to see her happy and full of life, but the sunlight woke him.  He cursed the sun for still being able to rise when he felt he could never be whole again.  He remembered how beautiful she used to look when the sunlight would fall on her peaceful, sleeping face.  She was perfect to him, and the thought just made him even more depressed as he would never see her wake from that peaceful sleep again.

               This was his worst fear come to life, losing everything that meant anything to him. That was why he had pushed her away for so long-to avoid being hurt.  This pain was worse than anything he could have ever imagined that anything could.  It was worse than any battle wounds, hurt worse than when he had seen Kikyo's face, full of hatred after she had shot that fateful arrow....

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a/n

please review my story! As I said it's my first one so constructive criticism is appreciated, but try not to be too harsh! I already have two endings I could use so any input or suggestions will be taken into consideration!

Thanks!

Ciao!


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